Things the Organization is not allowed to do
by MissDifferent
Summary: Here is a List Xemnas made the Organisation write. Here are theinks they aren't allowed to do. EVER.
1. Chapter 1: Axel

Thinks the ORGANIZATION XIII shall not do.  
>By MissDifferent.<p>

Summary: Xemnas is angry. He has had enough of the Organization doing rubbish, so he drew up some rules. Well, made them draw up rules.

**A/N: DunDunDun, here we are. A list of Rules. Ugh, I hate rules. But I LOVE making them. He. Hehe.**

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><p>"These people are infuriating" Xemnas thought, as he was sitting on his 'boss chair'," what can I do?" Then, suddenly he leapt up and yelled:" I know a list. A rule list." He then proceeded in pulling half a dozen sheets of paper and a pen out of his 'boss desk'. He called Axel and waited for him to arrive.<p>

"Here Axel. Write down a list of things you shall not do."

"What? Why?"

"BECAUSE I TOLD YOU SO."

"Okay, okay. Jeez."

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><p><span>THINGS AXEL (the great and Sexy) ISN'T ALLOWED TO DO ANYMORE. EVER.<span>

- Calling himself 'the great and sexy' Axel is frowned upon by the rest of society.

- Burning dinner is not appreciated.

- Burning Marluxia's flowers isn't either.

- Burning anything is FORBIDDEN.

- I must not use all the shower gel. Especially not if its Larxenes.

-Because she will hurt me.

- Calling Xemnas "Sexman" or "Mansex" is only going to get me punished.

- Saying "got it memorized" during meetings is not going to help.

- I must not touch anything Vexen leaves in the fridge.

-Even if it says my name on it

- I must not sing show tunes in the corridors.

- It doesn't matter if Marluxia joins in.

- If I hug Roxas one more time to 'cheer him up', he has every right to strangle me.

-Same goes for Zexion.

-And Saïx.

- I won't ask if we are supposed to go commando under our capes.

-Singing "I'm too sexy for me cloak" in meetings won't make me a better person.

- Because it will make others feed my genitals through the paper shredder.

- Riku is not a grandpa.

- Nor is he my Grandma. Especially not my grandma.

-Saix will never read me a bed side story.

- So I should stop asking.

- Stealing Demyx's sitar and hiding it is only going to make him drench me.

- If I so much as look at the stove, Xaldin will stab me.

-Xemnas does not have Narnia in his wardrobe.

-I am not allowed to prove this.

-Even though Mr Tumnus says I should.

-I must not dress Zexion as a Christmas elf.

-Even if it was hilarious.

-Must not then hire him out to shopping malls at Christmas.

-Telling Namine to draw Xemnas and Saix Yaoi is wrong.

-Telling Namine to draw anyone Yaoi is wrong.

-Hanging them around the castle is wronger.

-Even if I think it's funny.

-And even if Larxene's name must be wrong because Nymphs are pretty and she is not is only going to make me lose my balls.

- Asking Roxas if you can use the Key to open doors is not smart.

- Telling Marluxia that he is a "pathetic little girl with pink hair" is mean.

-I must not steal Xigbar's guns and pretend I'm James Bond.

-I must not throw anyone out the window.

-Especially not Roxas.

-Even if I call it 'defenestrated' and not 'thrown out of the window.'

-Glueing a key to a knife does not make me a keyblade bearer.

- I cannot kill Demyx for duct taping Roxas to the ceiling.

-'Men in Black' is not our theme tune.

-Xemnas is not old.

-His hair does not say otherwise.

-IT'S SILVER DAMMIT!

- My chakrams are not Frisbees, and they will not be used as such.

-Not allowed to use Xaldin's lances to make giant kebabs.

-Because he will use me as a human pin cushion.

-Marluxia is not a Sweet Transvestite

-Neither is he from Transexual Transylvania

-I will not draw phallic symbols on other member's faces while they are sleeping.

- Because they will rip mine off.

-Not allowed to steal Xemnas' cactus.

-Because next time I may just find it in a very awkward place.

- Just because I'm called the "Flurry of Dancing Flames" does not mean I can dance.

- I shall not attempt to teach the others how to dance.

- Nor will I suggest we start a Boyband.

-even though Demyx could sing and play the sitar, I could dance and the others could be background singers/ dancers.

-And that would be hot.

- Not allowed to walk around the Halls hip-thrusting. Because it freaks others out.

-Not allowed to sing anything by Aerosmith.

-Especially not around Marluxia.

-Because if I sing 'Dude Looks Like a Lady' to him one more time, he has every right to chop off my piddler with his scythe.

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><p>"Okay, I'm done." Axel said, handing the paper to Xemnas.<p>

"Good, send me Marluxia now."

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><p><strong>AN: Nomnomnom!  
>What do you think?<strong>

**Review? Alert? Favourite? READ? Hehe.**

**LOVE YOU ALL!**

**xxx**


	2. Chapter 2: Marluxia

Thinks the ORGANIZATION XIII shall not do.  
>By MissDifferent.<p>

Summary: Xemnas is angry. He has had enough of the Organization doing rubbish, so he drew up some rules. Well, made them draw up rules.

**A/N: Ooh, Chapter 2, about Marluxia. **

Marluxia cautionly opened to door to Xemnas' "Boss-room"

"Sit down." Xemnas said, "and write down a list of things you've done and weren't allowed."

"Uh…okay." Marluxia said, taking up the pen and paper.

THINGS MARLUXIA IS NOT ALLOWED TO DO. BECAUSE ITS MEAN.

-Crying is not going to help my cause.

- Saying that Axel should try moisturizing his skin to make it smooth is not right.

-Because he will flames grill me and serve me with fries.

-Or turn me into a Kebab.

-Putting petals into Saix' bathwater is frowned upon.

-Not allowed to take Xemnas' dragon for walkies.

-Because we cannot afford to rebuild the castle when it rampages.

- Giving Saix a scar reducing cream is going to end badly for me.

-Giving it to Xigbar isn't liked either.

- Xemnas does not appreciate getting hair dye for Christmas.

-Even though it's gray-hair hiding.

-Then asking Luxord if he wants it won't be friendly.

- coping Xaldin's hair is not nice. It makes him cry.

- Calling Lexaeus Quasimodo will hurt his feelings.

- Singing "Suicidal" around Zexion is frowned upon.

- Telling him that books are illegal will make him cry.

-Then telling him that you solved the problem by asking Axel to burn them will make him angry.

- And he will do bad things to me if I make him angry.

- Saix is not a dog. Calling him Puppy or "pup" or "doggy-woggy" is prohibited.

-I will never say that Demyx is my soul mate.

- Hanging Roxas because he insulted my beautiful hair won't be appreciated by Xemnas.

- Grabbing Larxene's antennas to see if they steer her movements is not nice.

-It will end in her killing me slowly and painfully.

- Singing "only you" when Roxas is around Namine is going to make them angry.

- Singing "love is in the air" goes under the same heading.

-Giving flowers to the others won't make them my friends.

-insinuating that Xion is "fake" is also prohibited.

-Even if it is true.

-And even if I didn't mean it that way.

"There." He said, after enumerable minutes of scribbling.

"Good. Make Larxene come now." Xemans said, hardly looking up from the things he was doing.

**A/N: So, what doth thou think? Not much I bet… oh well, I'm having fun, FUN, FUUN so no matter what thou says. Even though it would be nice if you liked it. And it would be nice if you reviewed. Even if you didn't like it.**

**xxxx**


	3. Chapter 3: Larxene

Thinks the ORGANIZATION XIII shall not do.  
>By MissDifferent.<p>

Summary: Xemnas is angry. He has had enough of the Organization doing rubbish, so he drew up some rules. Well, made them draw up rules.

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><p><strong>AN: Hello my little friends! How are you? What's up?  
>Ah, yes, If you have any ideas for rules, just review them okay? Like that, I will have more to say! (?)<strong>

**Xxxxx**

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><p>Larxene barged into Xemnas' "boss-room."<p>

"What?" she snapped, being her usual happy self.

"Write a list of stuff you do wrong, please."

Larxene huffed but took the paper and thought for a while.

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><p><span>THINGS LARXENE SHOULD NOT DO. EVEN THOUGH SHE WILL ANYWAY.<span>

- I will not slap Xemnas for intruding in _MY_ personal space.  
>Nor will I punch him.<br>I will not perform any act of violence towards him. Period.

- I will not creep up on Roxas and yell: "BOOOAAAA!" behind him and then leave while he recovers from heart-attack.

-I will not kill Marluxia for touching my ant-_HAIR_.

-Seeking revenge by shaving off his hair is mean.

- Flushing his flowers down the loo is not the same as "Watering the flowers."  
>Peeing on them isn't either.<p>

- Crucifying Axel for using my knives is not a friendly thing.

- I will not stalk Saix to see if he has a intimate relationship with Xemnas.

-I won't put cameras in Xemnas' "Boss-Room", and then use the tape as black-mail material.

-Calling Xemnas "Sexman" or "Mansex" is funny, but not nice. It hurts his feelings.

-Just because I can stick my knives between my fingers does not make me Wolverine.

- Just because I need temper management (as said by Roxas) does not mean I may use fellow Organization members to diffuse my anger.

- Leaving my Tampons lying around is not sanitary.  
>It scares the others.<p>

- Even if the castle is boring, that does not give me the right to throw a party.  
>Or even to prank people.<br>Or scare them.  
>I am not allowed to do anything un-nobody like, because it ruins our reputation.<p>

- "Mind your own beeswax" is not the answer to ever question somebody or nobody asks.

- Stealing the Keyblade is not nice. It will either make Roxas or Sora cry.

- Beating up replicas is heartless and hurts the person.

- Spiking people with my heels with cause them serious injury.

- I won't prod my comrades on the forehead saying: "accept my dominance."  
>I won't prod my comrades anywhere saying anything.<p>

- I will not try and hang Lexaeus for saying I'm bipolar and need professional help.

- I am not a Ninja.  
>I won't tell people I am. Because that is lying.<p>

- I will not make my body-copies do labour work for me.  
>Nor will I make them do my "share" of the work in the castle.<p>

- I will not use up all the gel.  
>Because if I do, all the others will kill me.<br>Or I will kill them.

-Using up all the hot-water is anti-social.  
>Laughing when others have to shower cold is too.<p>

-I will not make Namine draw "stupid, negative pictures" or the other members and then stick them on the walls with superglue.

- Saying that Axel is a transvestite in disguise is frowned upon.  
>Lea does not <em>HAVE<em> to be a girl's name.  
>Even if it is.<p>

-Telling Lexaeus that his face burns my eyes is spiteful.  
>Leaving plastic surgery papers lying around for him to see is rude.<p>

- Zexion isn't a little suicidal emo kid, so I will not call him such.

- Asking Roxas if he wants to see my "Puppies" or if he wants "to have some candy" is mean. It is not his fault he is mentally challenged.

-Roxas is not mentally challenged.  
>Ditto Saix.<br>Ditto anyone.  
>I have no right saying that to people.<p>

-Eating all the food in the castle and blaming it on somebody else is not nice.

-Giving Luxord a breath mint is not nice.

- Nor is telling Vexen that he is "a boring evil stupid brain-dead and pointless boffin". This will make him use me as a gunny pig.

- I will not kill Xemnas for making me write all this.

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><p>"Okay. Done." She said before rushing out of the room.<p>

"LARXENE, GET ME ZEXION!" Xemnas manages to yell before she is out of earshot. As he reads through the "rule list", he chuckles.

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><p><strong>AN: What do you think? I don't really like it, but I don't like her so there we are.**

**Xxx**

**PS: Reviews?**


	4. Chapter 4: Zexion

Thinks the ORGANIZATION XIII shall not do.  
>By MissDifferent.<p>

Summary: Xemnas is angry. He has had enough of the Organization doing rubbish, so he drew up some rules. Well, made them draw up rules.

**A/N: Zexion. Zexion-with-the-SEXY-HAIR! I think I will steal him and make him mine.**

**Oh yeah, I keep forgetting this: The day that Kairi and Larxene are friends and the day it snows and rains at the same time, is the day KH will be mine. HAHAHAHAHAAA. Basically, never.  
>This is for: <strong>**sonicdisney****  
><strong>**Some of the Ideas were by: - ****Destiny's Call****  
>-<strong>**f****antasyfan1999****  
>-<strong>**Zexiontwo****  
>I love you guys, and any more ideas, do give them to me!<br>So yeah, have fun with Zexion!**

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><p>"Zexion." Xemnas said, as he saw the door being pushed open.<p>

"Superior." Zexion greeted.

"You will write a list of rules to be followed by you."

Zexion grabbed the pen and paper and started chewing his lower lip.

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><p><span>ZEXION'S LIST OF STUFF.<span>**  
><strong>

**-**I won't use Larxene's knives for cutting.  
>Nor for cooking.<br>Basically I will not touch her knives.

- Hogging the showers is not fair.

- Just because I have awsome hair, it does not make me emperor of the hair world.

- I will not flirt with Namine.  
>Nor will I flirt with Kairi. If I do, Sora and Roxas will kill me. Slowly and painfully.<p>

- I will not follow Axel's advice and go "commando" under my cloak.  
>Even if it's comfortable.<p>

- I will not kill Axel when he tries to burn my lexicon.  
>Nor when he says that said book is stupid.<p>

- I will not scream and shout at Demyx when he ruins my peaceful reading time with his horrendous screeching he calls singing.

- I will not eat all Roxas' sea-salt ice cream.

- I shall not sprinkle holy water on luxord, cross my fingers and wait for him to spontaneously combust.(it does not work.)  
>Warding him off with a crucifix does not work either.<p>

-I will not explain to Demyx where babies come from EVER AGAIN

-Calling others neophites is frowned upon

-I will not make or make it appear as Axel's room is flooded in water.(**those 3 by:Zexiontwo**)

-i must not give Roxas nightmares for calling me Emo nor because he called me short.  
>Ditto Larxene and Axel.<br>Ditto everybody.  
>Even though I'm not emo nor am I specially small.<strong>(fantasyfan1999, destiny's call.)<strong>

-I will no longer sit around in my corner reading when others, (hint Axel, Demyx) start their boy-band. From now, I will stop them.

-I will not result to cutting with Larxene's knives when my fellow members pester me. I will ignore them.

-Ignoring Axel results in pain.  
>Ditto Luxord.<br>Ditto Saix.

-I will not hit Lexaeus on the head with my Lexicon because Xemnas thinks it disrespectfull.

- I will not slam my lexicon on the table, startling everybody, then leave the room screaming and shouting because somebody sneezed.

-"I will not brutally murder Axel for calling my Lexicon a dictionary." **(Destiny's Call)**  
>Nor will I torture Luxord when he calls my lexicon a "stupid thesaurus"<p>

-I will not point out to Lexaeus that he has strong body odour.  
>Nor will I tell him that showering prevents this.<br>I won't tell him that soap is helpful to remove smells.  
>Giving him a deodorant, soap and a toothbrush is mean. It insinuates that he is lacking hygene.<p>

- killing Axel for saying that I am a "defenseless-git-who-has-only-a-effing-book" is not an option.

- Using long words around Luxord will make him confused. Then asking him if he has the "brain power of a newborn pig" might anger him.

- Just because I have the lexicon, does not mean I may use only long complex words.

- I won't insinuate that Xemnas has the attention span of a poorly trained Walnut.  
>Ditto Axel.<br>Ditto Larxene.

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><p>"Okay superior, I'm done." Zexion said, shoving the paper away in a grumpy manner.<p>

"Good. Send that insufrable Demyx."

"Yes Superior." Zexion said before leaving. The Last thing to be heard was a loud and echoing "DEMYX MOVE YOURSELF TO THE SUPERIOR NOW."

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><p><strong>AN; This was…. HARD!  
>I'm not quite familiar with Zexion, so if this is not right, tell me and I'll do it again.<br>I'm sorry if it is quite short to… please don't kill me!  
>Well… Did I mention I love you guys?<strong>

**Ah yes, I've had an Idea, I need your advise. What would you say if I wrote some one-shots about each "rule?" I might get somebody else to write them, considere that my skills are a bit… lacking.**

**Xxxx  
>m.D.<strong>


	5. Chapter 5: Demyx

Thinks the ORGANIZATION XIII shall not do.  
>By MissDifferent.<p>

Summary: Xemnas is angry. He has had enough of the Organization doing rubbish, so he drew up some rules. Well, made them draw up rules.

**A/N: Thanks to all of you who have Reviewed! ****I la-la-lave you !  
><strong>**Special thanks to : -Spellbound a.k.a Soragirl4ever  
>- Destiny's Call<br>- Zexiontwo  
>because those guys are awesome and have helped me.<br>Feel free to give ideas, and state who you would like to have done next!  
>XXX<strong>

The first thing Xemnas heard of Demyx was the usual singing. Only this time, he sang the Imperial march.

"DEMYX, stop singing and write a list of things you SHOULD NOT do."

"Yes Xemy-Wemy."

DEMYX'S LIST OFF AWSOME THINGS HE MAY NOW NOT DO ANYMORE BECAUSE XEMNAS IS MEAN.

-I will not call Xemnas "Xemmy-Wemmy" since is does not show respect.

-I will not glomp Zexion. It will make him mad, and probably result in the loss of something important.

-When Marluxia walks by I will not start singing Dude Looks Like a Lady. It will make him cry.

-I will not play James Bond music everytime I pass Xigbar either.

-I will not perform a concert in Xemnas's Office when he is not there by pushing the announcer button.

-I will not play a sitar solo around others. it will drown them. and get me killed. ,i can't sing the songebob sqarepants theme song. even if i have a pineapple under the sea

-I will not splash Axel with water to see if he will melt.  
>Ditto Larxene.<p>

-I will not sing David Bowie during the hours of ten p.m. and eight a.m.  
>Nor any other song artist.<p>

-I will not sing "The Emo Song" whenever I see Zexion. That'll make him more emo and cut himself.

-I shan't play the empirial march each time Xemnas walks past me

-I may not hum, sing or chant the pink panther theme song while creeping around the corridors.

-I am not Moses, even if I can devide water.  
>And juice.<br>And soup

-Candy Mountain does not exist. Ditto the Fridge Goblin.

-I must not burst into tears everytime someone calls my sitar a guitar.

-Larxene is my FRIEND. Ditto Axel. Ditto Xigbar. Ditto Xaldin. Ditto Lexaeus.

-Ditto Saix.

-Running around the castle in nothing but my underwear is highly frowned upon.

-Bubbles cannot dance.

-I will not buy a pump cane.

-I may not say I'm blind, just to hit vexen repeatedly with my cane.

-running around the castle singing "swim this way" is highly irritating.  
>Doing this before midday will get me castrated.<p>

- Xemnas is not god.  
>Nor is he Allah.<br>Or Buddha.

- I will not scream "AAH, IT LIVES" whenever vexen walks past me.

-drenching Axel is not funny.  
>Even though he steams.<p>

- Larxene is not the evil witch of the west.  
>She won't melt if I gourge her in water.<br>I am not allowed to prove this.

- singing "not afraid" in a crucial battle moment is not going to scare the enemies.

- I will not play stupid pranks on my friends, this includes the plastic wrap on the loo one.

- We will not make a "high school musical" remake, so I should stop asking.

- I will be crucified by Lexaeus if I dance "the creep" around him once more.

"DONE!" Demyx smiled, flouncing out of the room.

Xemnas face-palmed.


	6. Chapter 6: Xigbar

-I Thinks the ORGANIZATION XIII shall not do.  
>By MissDifferent.<p>

Summary: Xemnas is angry. He has had enough of the Organization doing rubbish, so he drew up some rules. Well, made them draw up rules.

**A/N: Woahay, a new chappy, this one is for Zexiontwo and Destiny's Call.  
>Special thanks to both of them for being awesome and reviewing a lot, thanks to all of you by the way, did I mention all of your, who are still following this story are AWSOME!<strong>

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><p>Xemnas made a call through the "Castle-intercom" so that Xigbar would come to see him. Several minutes later, he entered.<p>

"Yes superior sir?" he asked gruffly.

"Xigbar, I. WANT. YOU. TO WRITE. No wait, ignore write, I want you to SCRIBBLE rules concerning you."

"Concerning?"

"About."

"Ooh…" said Xigbar, awkwardly picking up a pen and sticking his tongue out in consentration.

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><p>XYGBARS ROOLS. RITTEN BI SEMNAZ.<p>

-I am not allowed to hum James Bond while walking through the halls.

-I am not allowed to use Marly for target practice.

Ditto Roxas

Ditto Everyone

-I am not allowed to use my powers to ambush people and leave them stuck to the ceiling.

-I may not do mean things to Roxas because I have a bad history with Keyblade wielders.

Nor for any other reason.

-I am not allowed to shoot people, strangle people, etc. if they call me a pirate.

-Calling Zexion "little" is a surefire way to get me strapped to my bed for three days.

Ditto Roxas.

-If we go on trips, I am not allowed to pretend to be from California, nor will I strangle anyone for calling me a pirate.

-I will not shoot Saix's X scar

-He will castrate me

-I will not call Xemnas Mansex or Sexman

-I will not try to shave Demyx's hair

-It will make him cry

-Which will flood the castle

-And drown me with it

-I will not spy on people with my space powers

-Especially Saix and Xemnas when their having their "Man" time

-actually, I'm not allowed to usey powers exept when very important.

- defenestrating someone for saying "Aarr, Jim lad" in my hearing range is wrong.

- I am not to be violent since it offends the public, and casts a bad impression.

- laughing like a maniac when Demyx is injured is sadistic.  
>Ditto when Xion gets hurt.<br>Or anyone as a matter of fact.

- making weird grunting noises and shoving the food down my mouth at table disgusts the others and makes them loose appetite.  
>So I won't forbid, even if it means more food for me.<p>

- Xemnas is not a "pedophile." The kid in his room was merely lost.  
>I shall not imply that he is.<p>

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><p>"Okay. I is finished." Xigbar said.<p>

"I AM finished you mindless git. Call Roxas or Xion next please." Xemnas said, dismissing him.

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><p><strong>AN: URGH. YOU CANNOT BELIEVE HOW HARD THIS WAS! (I had no idea who Xigbar was… *feels stupid*)  
>Rate it? Review it? Alert it? Well… read it first!<br>XXX**


	7. Chapter 7: Roxas

Thinks the ORGANIZATION XIII shall not do.  
>By MissDifferent.<p>

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><p>Summary: Xemnas is angry. He has had enough of the Organization doing rubbish, so he drew up some rules. Well, made them draw up rules.<p>

**A/N: I am SO sorry for not having updated in AGES. Please don't kill me!  
>In this, I would want to thank: -Destiny's Call<br>- Zexiontwo  
>- Overlord Soran<strong>

**And all of you who have read, reviewed, Alerted and/or favourited this story.**

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><p>Roxas was the next who went to Xemnas, when he walked in, Xemnas shoved some paper and a pen to him.<p>

"Write rules." He said, curtly.

Roxas nodded, sucking on his Sea-salt Ice-cream. He picked up his pen and started writing.

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><p><span>Roxas 'Sea-Salt Ice-Cream King''s rules of things Xemnas wants to forbid because he is boring.<span>

-I shall not chop Saïx to bits for calling Xion a puppet. Again.

-Calling Demyx "useless" will make him cry, which is frowned upon.

-I won't let Axel cook dinner.

-Asking Xigbar how he got his scars will make him hurt me.  
>Same goes for Saix.<p>

-Larxene is NOT evil. No matter what Axel says.

-Axel is not always right. I am not allowed to say so.

-I cannot get mad if somebody calls me "Jesse McCartney" again.

-I am not allowed to beat up Axel even though he started the AkuRoku pairing to mess with me.

-I will not hurt Axel for trying to have me call him the Almighty Tallest

-I will not get involved in any of Axel or Xigbar's schemes

-I will not go into a destructive rampage for being called short

-I will not call Marluxia a girl

-I will not help Axel sneak into Larxene's room  
>She will perform surgery on me.<p>

-I will not let Vexen steal my hair  
>He will clone me<br>Again

-I will not steal everyone's sea salt ice cream

-I will not eat enough ice cream that I go on a sugar rush  
>because I scare innocent people when high on sugar.<p>

- I will not feed Axels' organs to the paper shredder because he calls me "Shorty."  
>Same if he ruffles my hair.<p>

-When I sing in the bathroom, the whole castle can hear me. I should restrain from doing so.  
>It makes them deaf.<p>

- I will not run after Vexen screaming: "Vexy-Wexy, Vexy-booboo, how are you Vexy-kins?" it offends him deeply.

- I won't steel Xemnas' dirty guy magazines.  
>It makes people think <em>I'm<em> gay.

- I should not sing a love song to Naminé anymore.  
>She fainted last time.<br>The time before she nearly died laughing.

- I shall not murder Sora for copying my awesome hairstyle.

- Short-cutting the hair dryer when Saix is using it gets him hurt.  
>That gets me hurt.<p>

- Threatening people with a stick of sea salt ice-cream is not terrifying.

- I will not beat somebody into pulp for calling me Sora.

- It is strictly forbidden to laugh maniacally when on a mission.

- Repeatedly pocking a person when I want to talk to them will not catch their attention.  
>It will make them really angry and kill me.<p>

- Lending my Key-blade to Axel is going to make Xemnas angry with me.

- I won't borrow Axel's Chakrams and use them for ultimate Frisbee.

- Calling Saix a "mad lunatic who deserves to go to an Asylum because he is challenged" is not nice.  
>It's not his fault he has "problems" in moon-light.<p>

- Asking Saix how his Sex-change was is not nice.  
>Isa is not only a girl's name.<p>

- Just because I have the "Key of Destiny" does not mean I have to proclaim other future at the top of my lungs.

- I am not the 'Sea-salt Ice-cream King'. I will not sign all my papers as such.

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><p>"Okay, I'm done!" Roxas sighed after twenty long minutes of scribbling. He stood up, threw his Sea-salt Ice-cream stick into the trash and pulled a new one out of his pocket. "I'll call Xion now." He then left.<p>

Xemnas, who had just woken, frowned and shook his head when he saw Roxas eat another ice-cream.

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><p><strong>AN: What do you think? I hope this finds your liking!**

**I am once again SO SOOORRRY that I took ages, but hey, I'm on holidays!**

**Review me your opinion?**

**Xxx**

**MissDifferent**


	8. Chapter 8: Xion

Thinks the ORGANIZATION XIII shall not do.  
>By MissDifferent.<p>

Summary: Xemnas is angry. He has had enough of the Organization doing rubbish, so he drew up some rules. Well, made them draw up rules.

**A/N: Once again, I am sorry for not updating on a regular basis but my life sorta sucks right now…  
>I would like to give special thanks to : Destiny's Call, Zexiontwo, Mysteriousguy898, Yonet-chan, overlord Soran and all those who reviewed and or read this fanfic.  
>xxx<strong>

* * *

><p>Sometime later that day, Xion skipped into Xemnas' "boss-room" and asked him:<p>

"What shall I do Sup'?"

"Write a list of rules." Wemnas was starting to already be irritated by this small fake girl-boy-thing.

"Okay!" Xion answered, grabbing a pen and writing.

* * *

><p>XION'S RULES OF BAD THINGS TO NOT DO.<p>

-I will not strangle Saix for looking for the puppet strings.

-I must not then search for them myself when no one is looking.

-I must not fall unconscious on important missions.  
>"Important" means any mission.<br>Even if some missions are just stupid.

-When fighting Heartless, I will not spend my time gazing at Roxas.

-I won't gaze at Roxas other times, either.

-Our theme song is not "Another One Bites the Dust."

-I will not run away (again) for any reason.  
>Even if we're all going to be "terminated" anyway.<p>

-I must not cry when Zexion or others refer to me as a Mary Sue.  
>Because they don't know what a Mary Sue is.<p>

-I will not slather the couches with Superglue to catch Demyx.  
>Pokèballs are much more portable, but I won't use those, either.<p>

-I will not act super-depressing around Larxene.  
>She will remove my vital organs one by one.<p>

-I will not pretend to be the puppet master

-I will not hurt Roxas for thinking about ice cream at my death

-I will not pretend to be Namine when I'm around Roxas  
>Even though I love him<p>

-I will not flirt with Repliku either

-I will not call Lexaeus a giant  
>It will make him cry<br>Again

-I shouldn't put my hood up around Saix. It makes him feel "special"

-I shouldn't steal Roxas's Keyblade, even though he steals mine.

-Lea is not just a girl's name.  
>Ditto Isa.<br>Ditto Sora.

-Even if Saix calls me a puppet, I am not allowed to attack him.

-I'm also not allowed to kill Riku for calling me a sham.

-I'm also not allowed to harm anyone for calling me Kairi or a cross-dresser.

-I will not mutilate anyone for calling me "fake."  
>Even though it's true.<p>

- Edward is NOT in Twilight Town.  
>Nor is Bella.<br>Or Jacob.  
>I should stop asking.<p>

- Larxene is not a "manipulating witch."  
>I should stop trying to convince people of the contrary.<p>

- I will not steal Marluxia's roses and give them to Roxas as a "Romantic present."

- Saying mean things about Naminé when Roxas is around leads to pain.  
>Pain hurts.<p>

- Luxord is not a "good for nothing Gambler who gambles away all my munny."  
>He is not a gambler.<br>Even though his name states something else.

- Whacking Zexion on the head with his Lexicon is not advised if you want to remain healthy.

-Lexaeus is not a "Stone-age man."  
>Even if he uses an axe.<br>And looks like one.

- Vexen is not a "Nerd."  
>Nor is he a "Geek", "No-life", "mad scientist" or "teacher's-pet."<p>

- I will not try to sell Xaldin's silver tongue so that I can buy Sea-salt Ice-cream for Roxas.

- I will no longer say that Xemnas is a "flasher."  
>Nor does he work as a professional stripper<br>He does not train for that Job with Saix either.

- I will not laugh when someone suffers "death by ball of yawn."

* * *

><p>"Okay Sup', I'm done." Xion said, pushing the paper away before leaving.<p>

Xemnas frowned while reading the paper then picked up the pen and added:

"_I will not call Xemnas "SUP'" any longer.  
>His name is SUPERIOR."<em>

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><p><strong>AN: What do you think? Leave me your critizism!**

**Love you loads!  
>xxxx<strong>


	9. Chapter 9: Luxord

**AN: OH MY GOODNESS. I hate myself for not updating for so long….**

**My crappy excuse: School life got in the way, then my computer died. Ugh. Forgive me?  
>*puppy eyes*<br>I'm actually supposed to finish a 600 pages long book for in… 13 hours but I can't be bothered, is that bad I wonder?**

**Special thanks to:  
>-hypercat3002<br>-Overlord Soran  
>-Hollown Serenade<br>-Spellbound (aka Soragirl4eva)  
>And all the other kind and friendly reviewers! I love you guys<strong>

* * *

><p>Xemnas was sitting in his office reading when Luxord came bumbling in, mixing a deck.<br>"Want to poker?" Luxord asked, casting an inquiring eye on Xemnas. Said man raises his eyes, sighed in desesperation and told Luxord were exactly he could put his pack of cards.  
>"You're only bitter because you lost last time. You still owe me 40 munny" Luxord smirked.<br>Xemnas sighed once again, his face adoring a peculiar shade of purple, then handed Luxord a pen and paper.

* * *

><p>THINGS LUXORD IS NOT ALLOWED TO DO.<p>

- reminding Xemnas that he owes you munny is frowned upon.

-I will not ask Xemnas if he wants to poker.  
>Ditto Larxene.<p>

- I will not cheat while gambling.

- Beating Demyx and then laughing offends the general public.  
>Even if you had no way of knowing he would react like THAT.<p>

- rigging the game so that Larxene looses is a good way to get castrated.  
>Ditto Xemnas.<p>

- just winning against Larxene is the best way for contraception yet invented.  
>It is also one of the most painful.<p>

-Drinking Rhum does not make me a pirate.

- No drinking rhum.  
>Or Vodka.<br>Beer is also prohibited.  
>Actually, No drinking what so ever. (Exept water and milk)<p>

-I must refrain from drinking excessive amounts of rum.  
>Especially since last time my knickers were hanging from a chandeleir.<br>And I was still wearing my knickers at the same time...

- Using my sexy british accent on missions involving hot women is prohibited.  
>Ditto on hot men.<p>

-I will not kill my fellow members when they insult my British accent

-I will not drug people into playing strip poker with me.  
>Drugs are forbidden.<p>

-If I do not want my eyes to shrivel and die, it is best not to play Strip poker with old people.  
>I shall not point and laugh at the autonomy either.<br>I am still in pain.

-I will not harass Sora.  
>He does not find it pleasant.<p>

-Killing Axel for saying that I bleach my hair will get me into trouble.

-I will not boast for being third to last to die.  
>It's arrogant and show off-y.<br>Even if it's a fact and I am therefore better than most of the Organization.

- Just because my number is 'X' it does not entitle me to watch X films.

- When on mission I will not try and seduce Roxas. It makes him stutter and blush. That makes him angry and I still can't feel my left bullock.

-Hanging Demyx to the ceiling for making fun of my manly moustache in not liked. Nor is it funny.

- Using 'charmed' cards when playing in 'life or death' situations does not end well.

- I should stop insisting that Roxas is not manly only because he has no piercings. and no muskles. and has girly eyes.  
>Its is not his fault.<p>

* * *

><p>"Okay, done." Luxord grinned, shuffling his cards one more time. "Up for a game of poker boss?"<br>Xemnas' face turns a nasty shade of prune as he is pointing to rule two of Luxords list.  
>"OUT. NOW. BEFORE I KILL YOU" He bellows, losing his last thread of patience (and possible sanity.) Luxord still grinning exits the room, just as he closes the door Xemnas can hear him asking a question. Seconds later an ear splitting scream is heard and Vexen stamps into the room fuming.<p>

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Sorry its so short I had NO idea what to write... :/ don't hate me please!  
>As you can see, Vexen is up next and I'll try and post befor next Sunday.<strong>

**xxx love you all and my most profound apologies.  
><strong>


	10. Chapter 10: Vexen

What the Organization is not allowed to do.  
>by MissDifferent<p>

Summary: Xemnas is angry. He has had enough of the Organization doing rubbish, so he drew up some rules. Well, made them draw up rules.

**A/N: A special thanks to:  
>-NexarkXIII<strong>  
><strong>-rosealine<strong>  
><strong>-Akemi713<strong>  
><strong>-Awesomesnake12<strong>  
><strong>-Senjuina<strong>  
><strong>-Ultimate Black Ace<strong>  
><strong>-mysteriousguy898<strong>  
><strong>-Vampuric Spider<strong>

* * *

><p>"Ah, Vexen, now that you are here, you might as well do this assignment." Xemnas intervened, crossing his arms across his chest.<br>"B-but Boss, I need to go back to my lab! I need to-"  
>"NO. Do it now." Xemnas interrupted, showing pen and paper at Vexen. "Otherwise I'll burn your lab." He smirked. Vexen gave a little whimper, took the pen and started scribbling.<p>

* * *

><p>Vexen (The one and only amazing scientist) 's list of forbidden things.<p>

- I shall not use Axel as my Guinea pig.  
>Nor shall I "accidentally" turn him into one.<p>

-cackling madly while thunder and lightning happens will not convince people of my new genius and evil invention.

- I am not Mary. Xion and Replica are not my children. Therefore I did not procreate while being a virgin.

- killing Axel for mocking my virgin-ness is not an option. I should be proud to have rejected temptation. Even if there wasn't that much of it...

- I shall not leave potions labeled Axel in the fridge.  
>Ditto Demyx.<br>Actually, I shan't leave portions in the fridge period.

- I will not give Saix a deadly poison in his sleep for calling me a nerd.

- I will not experiment with Larxene's shampoo. My lab has never been the same since her rampage.

- laughing gleefully when I have found one of Larxene's tampons will brand me as a pervert.  
>Even if it was for purely scientific research.<p>

- There is no need for me to express myself in a verbose manner. My fellow organization members can bitter grasp what I'm saying and will call me arrogant and pompous.

- performing plastic surgery on any organization member odd frowned upon by the general public.

- The fact that Demyx is singing "white and nerdy" around me doesn't entitle me to kill him with one my inventions.

- Even if tempted, I really shouldn't try out experiments on sleeping members.

- If I want to keep my lab in one piece, being what Axel calls "a mad scientist arse."

- More then 19 hours research are forbidden.

- Turning all the members into chimpanzees is not amusing.  
>Well. Not for them. I find it rather entertaining.<p>

-I will not call Xion my daughter.  
>And Zexion is not her adopted brother.<br>Who was found on the street.  
>Because the orphanage thought he was ugly.<p>

-I will not use Axel as my test subject.  
>Or Roxas<br>Or Xion  
>Or Zexion.<p>

-I will not make Zexion burn his books for not being my test subject.

-I will not try to kill Axel for destroying my ice scultors.  
>Or Larxene<br>Or Roxas

-I will not freeze Axel.  
>Or Roxas<br>Or Zexion  
>Or Sora<p>

-I will not freeze the other members  
>Ever.<br>EVER.

- Planning world domination is not on the planning. I cannot add it to my time-table.

-No putting experimental potions in other members' drinks.

-No persuading Demyx to drink "experimental" potions when I already know he'll turn into a dog when he imbibes the drink.

-No whining about how I SHOULD HAVE BEEN NUMBER III! XALDIN IS TOO STUPID TO OUTRANK ME!

-Sorry. This list was supposed to be impeccable.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Tada, What do you think? Is that bad? It's not even funny anymore. My humour is lacking. It'll be back for the next person, I've prepared!**


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